Is this life any different from any other life in which suffering or persecution has ensued? A dream that is crystallized within my heart is to be one with the feminine as a man and transcend sexuality. This is a difficult and painful path to travel upon. On this path there is an inner process of deep emotional exploration, linked to a monkey mind. This monkey mind feeds an illusion I choose to call the matrix. From a very early age I have known that I am inside a prison and so refuse to be indoctrinated. I am part of this prison yes, because I exist in the flesh and appear in a masculine form. I am blessed to be able to have time and space to see this clearly and create a project that can free not only myself but anyone else who chooses to see the truth of this lie. I am told all the time how intense I am to be around. I wish that I was not so intense but when I am surrounded by a sea of mask wearing zombies this is a natural consequence. To just be around and allow zombie consciousness to exist is not why I have incarnated here in the flesh. I now choose to detach and become free from living a lie of separation. If I could just allow my fellow brothers and sisters to just be and not experience what I call abundance I would have been gone long ago. There is a realm that is based on imagination made real that transcends money consciousness and also flawed sexuality. To be able to experience this reality there needs to be an agreement. This agreement is based on collective participation. I can see deep beyond the mask of ego and I see my kin calling out to me to rattle their cages and free them from this alter ego dominance of maya. In the first preliminary stages of abundification as I call it there is a return to emotional feeling response. This feeling is first associated with pain and suffering. When these feelings are being experienced a memory may resurface buried long ago. This is a prime example of how repentance can be realized within our experience. The feeling of pain is a reminder of separation and this directly links back to mind and it's illusory machinations. When an individual heals this within them-self, a healing frequency permeates out into the collective. A whole different worldly experience begins to redefine itself through individuated human emotional process. One person can change a whole world, in fact a whole universe just by acknowledging their inner divinity. Imagine now that many people go on this inner journey of true reconciliation as a group in full support of what this painful journey can draw out. Perhaps the vision of heaven is the reconstructed heart of the one being of light, reflected through the many as a multidimensional cooperative effort. I apologize that you feel so much pain and your mind starts to go crazy when I am in your presence. I am sorry we are not experiencing our our full realized divine potential as creator beings made in the image of the most high. Truthfully I am so sorry that I have guilt inside me that creates such a painful experience of separation. I am ready to let this guilt go and be the realized potential of my divine god-self. I am what I am. I will face myself and I will repent, many will judge me and say this and that, I will let this be water off a ducks back and continue inward. I will end relationships that do not serve me because I believe in love and I believe in the absence of fear, I believe in eternal life. I will not fear being alone, if I do I will face this part of my self. I am what I am. Namaste.